The Painfully Painfull Quiz
by ArmchairANBU
Summary: Join Naruto and co on this whirlwind quiz which totally gives you an in-depth understanding of the character known as Pain - not! . Well at least it should be good for a laugh or two.


Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto etc...

The PAINfully PAINfull Quiz

The curtains are drawn open and we see a man behind a lectern and a woman standing next to him, both on some sort of stage. The man wearing an odd combination of a faceplate and a business suit waves to the crowd and whispers something to his partner who has short pink hair and a pink dress that barely reaches her knees. He puts his hand to his earpiece to make sure it doesn't fall out and hears the person on the other end saying. " ...and were on in 3...2..1 and GO!!!"

Man on the stage : " Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another super-exciting episode of the PAINfully PAINfull Quiz (TM) I am your host Tenzou, and this here is my lovely assistant Haruno Sakura who will assist me with today's show.

Sakura: (smiling :) Hello everyone!! Welcome to the show, I am sure you are all excited to be here :) :). Today's audience is drawn from the students training to become awesome ninjas of also helped with writing the quiz questions!. So audience please give a big cheer for Iruka-sensei who gave you guys a day off to attend!!

Audience ( chibi ninjas): Yeah Iruka-sensei is the coolest!! woohoo, yahoo.... ( cheering and making lots of noise)

within the crowd - Udon: Ne konohamaru-kun...

Konohamaru: hmm..

Udon: How did you convince Iruka-sensei to let us of on today of all days, we were supposed to have a test today after-all?

Konohamaru: (grinning) Relax Udon, Its all taken care of..heh heh , I used a plan that I learned from Naruto-bro. Its cool.

Audience ( chibi ninjas): now just talking and making lots of noise!!

Sakura: All right, all right settle down kids :) (has absolutely no effect on kids used to Iruka's demon head no jutsu) Inner Sakura : **:-( Quiet the hell down brats shannaroo!!**

Audience ( chibi ninjas): Looking at their toes silently.

Sakura: That's better :) . Now moving on Tenzou Sensei please tell us the topic of today's quiz.

Tenzou: Thank you Sakura. Today's quiz deals with the life and time of Pain.

Sakura: Sensei, are you referring to the not actually leader front man of Akatsuki?

Tenzou: That is correct. This quiz will be about aspects of his life. and now without further ado lets introduce the contestants...

Sakura: All right today's four contestants are...

From the right- amazing genius Nara Shikamaru.. even if he is sent on mission where the odds are against him, he comes home with the win!

Audience: YAY!

Sakura: Next up Chunin Rock Lee.. A ninja whose passionate determination has broken the boundaries of what is possible! (or even sane ;) )

Audience: YAY!

Sakura: Our third contestant is the elite chunin Aburame Shino.. a quiet and responsible young man who always completes his missions perfectly!

Audience: YAY!

Sakura: And our final competitor is the eternal genin Uzumaki Naruto.

Audience: Silence!

Naruto: (grumbling) Sakura-Chan that was mean :(

Sakura: Then get promoted fast bonehead #$%$%.

Lee: Naruto-kun you must extend the fires of your youth to a....a....a..um...a....well just extend it.

Shino: We are all waiting for you to prove your undoubted worth to the village in the upcoming chunin exams so that you may fraternize with us at the same rank Naruto.

Naruto: huh?

Shikamaru: Troublesome.(sigh)

Tenzou: AHEM!!! Now before we start the quiz I'll explain the rules- this quiz has three rounds. In each round you will be asked one non-passable question. Each correct answer will get you one point with no negative the end of the quiz the audience will decide who gets the prize through a popularity vote.

Naruto: What!! how the hell, that doesn't even make sense, what about all the points scored ?

Tenzou: Thats assuming you score any points at all Naruto :)

Naruto: Hmph! just watch I'll ace this stupid quiz.

Tenzou: Anyway in answer to you original question about the scoring , the points don't matter just like the names of the filler characters in the anime ha!ha, its just a gag to hold the show together :)

Sakura: OK! so lets begin Round 1 starting with Shikamaru.( rings a bell-TING!-TING!-TING!)

Tenzou: Shikamaru What name did Nagato adopt after the death of Yahiko?

Shikamaru: Man! this such a Pain.

Tezou: That is correct! the answer is Pain!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Lee What is the signature style of the not actually leader front man of Akatsuki?

Lee: Using the Six Paths of Pain Yosh!!!

Tenzou: You didn't have to add the yosh but I'll give it to you anyway, correct answer!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Shino Which technique did Pain use to create the moon?

Shino: Chibaku Tensei.

Tenzou: Correct!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Nauto Name all the different Pains?

Naruto: Heh, this is easy as I fought all of them. So here goes: animal realm, hungry ghost realm, demon realm, god realm, human realm and hell realm. Yeah!

Tenzou: hmm... sorry Naruto , good effort but I can't give you that one...

Naruto: What ? but I answered correctly.

Tenzou: Yes, but you forgot the 7th Pain that controls life and death.

Audience: Awww!

Naruto: ... Now hold on just a minute....

Sakura: That enough Naruto! with that ends round 1, stay tuned for after the commercial break comes round 2!

**Commercial break x----x**

Sakura: OK! so lets begin Round 2 starting with Shikamaru again.( rings a bell-TING!-TING!-TING!)

Tenzou: Thank you Sakura. Shikamaru your first question of the 2nd round is What did Pain do when he learnt of Deidara's death?

Shikamaru: He cried. (obviously bored)

Tenzou: That is correct. Pain used his rain jutsu to make the it rain on the whole country to show everyone his pain.

Shikamaru: (sweat drop)

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Now Lee..

Lee: Shikamaru -kun is answering all the questions so easily , Yosh!!! If I can't answer the next question then I wil out eat Chouji -kun in the Yakiniku _(barbecue meat) _stakes.

Tenzou: Now now Lee let me give you the question first. Your question is.... (Lee leans forward eagerly) The Pain that was captured and brought to Konohawas from which shinobi clan?

Lee: (tensed).....thinking about it.......He was from the Fumma clan!!

Tenzou: Your answer is.....wait for it...............absolutely correct!!!!

Lee: Phew!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Next is Shino and your question is what is the name of Pain's partner in Akatsuki?

Shino: Konan.

Tenzou: Correct!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: (grin) Today everyone is answering their questions so perfectly aren't they Sakura?

Sakura: They sure are Tenzou-sensei :)

Naruto: Hey, hey its my turn, ask me a question instead of wasting time chatting.

Tenzou: All right Naruto here is your question- How does hungry ghost realm pains jutsu absorption technique work?

Naruto: ..............uh.......(sigh) no idea :(

Audience: Awww! Come on Naruto-Niichan!!!!

Naruto: Hey my question was way more difficult than what the others got!

Sakura: If you were a Chunin you would have been able to answer that question Naruto.

Naruto: Ouch!

Tenzou: (sympathetically) relax Naruto, I am sure youll get your question right in the next that ends round 2, stay tuned for after the commercial break comes round 3!

**Commercial break x----x**

Sakura: OK! so lets begin Round 3 starting with you guessed it....Shikamaru again.( rings a bell-TING!-TING!-TING!)

Tenzou: Sakura is there something special about this round?

Sakura: There sure is Sensei. The question for this round were submitted by the audience!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Shikamaru what is the one medicine that can kill Pain?

Shikamaru: Pain killers.

Tenzou: Wow you are 100% right , you truly deserve to be called a genius!!

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Lee If Pain were locked in a doorless room and could use only 1 pain body to free himself from said room, which one would he use?

Lee: God Pain as it can destroy any room.

Tenzou: Sorry Lee , unfortunately that's the wrong answer. The right answer is...is..er..uh Sakura what is the right answer?

Sakura: The correct answer is...Window Pain Haha geddit, in the question we said there are no doors in the room, but no mention was made of windows, haha you geddit right Hahahaha thats funny hahahahahahaha.

Audience: ....

Tenzou: Sakura do you need some time in a quiet room? (It wasn't that funny)

Sakura: (Sheepish)No Sensei I am fine. :)

Tenzou: All righty then Shino your question is - What is the correct spelling of Nagato's

Akatsuki name is it Pain or Pein?

Shino: The correct spelling is P-A-I-N. How do I know this because I rea

d the databook where it i.e the correct spelling is confirmed by Kishimoto did I know about the book because I went to the store and while browsing I saw this book and bought did I get to the store.....

Tenzou: er, right Shino your answer is correct.

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Ok, Now onto Our Final question of the day to be answered by Naruto....

Audience: Yeah! Come on Naruto-Niichan!!!!

Tenzou: Here is your question Naruto, It even includes stuff about Kakashi Sensei so you should be able to answer this one :) . The question is - Which technique did Kakashi NOT use in the battle against Akatsuki?

Naruto: By Akatsuki you mean Pain right?

Tenzou: No , He didn't use this technique against any opponent who was Akatsuki.

Naruto: Haha I got this one its Doton:Shinjuu Zanshu no jutsu.

Tenzou: Your answer is correct....

Audience: YAY!

Tenzou: Let me finish, you answer is correct technically but the answer were looking for was...Sakura

Sakura: A Thousand years of Pain. Jeez Naruto you of all people should have got that one.

Naruto: You really know how to hit where it hurts Sakura Chan :(

Audience: Awww!

Tenzou: And with ends the quiz section of our program. Now while the quiz was going on Sakura conducted our popularity poll of which the result is........................................(drum roll please...........................................................................................................................

Sakura: And the winner is NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sakura: (now holding a mike) So tell us audience why Naruto?

Audience: 'Cos he is COOL; Naruto-niichan is the greatest; Naruto-kun is awesome; b'cos Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon forced us to vote for..urk!!! We love Naruto!! Yeah!

Tenzou: And there you have it folks the winner of this episode is Uzumaki Naruto!!!

Audience: YAY! WOOHOO!!

Tenzou: Our commiserations and thanks to the other contestants for participating and we hope they have better luck next time. So now the only thing left is the prize distribution :)

Naruto: (with tears in his eyes) Thanks guys. You're all amazing :)....wait a minute there is a prize?

Tenzou: Yes you actually have two options- option 1 is 1 month of free ramen at Ichiraku's

Naruto: Woah!!

Tenzou: And option 2 is a mystery prize!!!

Naruto: Mystery prize? what is it sensei?

Tenzou: (sweat drops)Its a mystery prize that's why its a mystery Naruto.

Naruto: Ok. I'll Take the mystery prize.

Tenzou: Are you sure Naruto? you're just giving up 1 month of free ramen?

Naruto: Yeah, 'cos I'll eat ramen anyway and I'd feel bad if I mooched on Ayame Ne-chan for a whole month.

Tenzou: Ok you sure then...

Naruto: Yeah I'm sure.

Tenzou: Positive...

Naruto: Yeah I'm positive.

Tenzou: Should I lock your option in....

Naruto: Just give me the prize.

Tenzou: (sigh) All-right your mystery prize is..........

Naruto: Is?

Tenzou: Is........

Naruto: (Vein throbbing) IS.......

Tenzou: A romantic dinner date with Haruno Sakura.

Audience, Shikamaru, Lee & Shino: WHAT????????????

Naruto: .

Sakura: .

Sakura: Tenzou-sensei , wtf , this can't be happening.

Tenzou: Sorry Sakura, I tried, but Naruto insisted on the mystery prize...and anyway its in your contract..and the contracts are approved by the Hokage so...you'll have to lump it. :)

Sakura: My Life is **OVER**.

Naruto: Sakura-chanyo your place or mine.(blushing red)

Sakura: (sigh) your place Naruto.

Tenzou: And with That ends another PAINfully PAINfull Quiz. Thank you for watching and good night.

**X---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X**

For Sakura the story doesn't end there, afterall there is still the romantic dinner date Ugh! with Naruto to come, and as so often happens when awaiting an event you aren't looking forward to time seems to speed up bringing that moment ever closer, which is how Sakura found herself sitting next to Naruto on the couch in his apartment.

"Ne Naruto" said Sakura softly as she rested her head on naruto's shoulder."What is it Sakura-Chan", replied Naruto. Sakura lifted her head and looked at into Naruto's face and said still speaking softly," you know Naruto I am not 'that' opposed to going on a date with you, you know that right? I mean its just for the audience all that...stuff"."Yeah I know that Sakura-Chan" replied Naruto with a smile on his face.

"Ne Naruto" Sakura said again. "hmm" replied Naruto. " Its getting late I better go" said Sakura, though she made no move to get up from the couch, seemingly content to sit pressed to her teammate. Naruto hmmed in reply when Sakura suddenly looked up at Naruto and blushingly said ," Ne Naruto at the end of the date is the perfect time to kiss right?" as she said this she brought her face in front of Naruto's as they sat now facing each other on the couch. Naruto for his part couldn't believe what was happening and he barely managed to squeak out a very nervy (and blushing tomato red) , "Sss-sakura-Chyan-yo".

Naruto's mind was racing at a 1000 miles per hour, his heart beat was over 9000! He was feeling so happy. _I can't believe Sakura chan and I are going to kiss, thought Naruto._ He bent forward to kiss Sakura, she had his head in her hands and brought her face close. there were only inches in it. _Its happening,its happening, thought Naruto_ _excitedly._

The moment was upon the two ninjas when Sakura abruptly twisted Naruto's head such that his face was now perpendicular to Sakura's own face and she started licking him and whining softly!!!!!!!

The thoughts going through Naruto's head were something like this, _"What the!!! Sakura-chan is licking my face whats going on???"_. But Naruto didn't have much time to think as Sakura then punched him in the stomach and said in a very loud male voice," **Oi Naruto get the fcuk up man! or your'e gonna be late for an appointment with the Hokage and then Sakura will can both our asses"**. Naruto blearily opened his eyes too see Akamaru's big wet nose in his face and Kiba standing in the middle of his apartment looking more and more annoyed by the second.

"Kiba what are you doing here?" asked Naruto now shaking himself awake, Kiba favoured him with a flat look," Sakura asked me to make sure you were on time to meet the Hokage since I was free" he replied, "I now see why she went to all the effort

A short while later found Naruto and Kiba in the front of the receptionist waiting for permission to go see the Hokage, when the door opened and Sakura stepped out looking relieved,"Hey Kiba, Narutooo youre late" she said cocking her fist,"but its ok today as the another of the Hokage's meetings overran so you are not in trouble- today." " Hey Sakura-Chan" replied Naruto."Waking this guy up is a **Pain** in the ass, I am not doing it again" said Kiba with Akamaru barking in agreement.

Naruto's ears had perked up of Kiba's mention of "pain in the ass which sounded so close to thousand years of pain" but he didn't get much time to ponder this as he was called into the Hokage's office at that point.

**The END.**

**x--------------------------X**

**I have been a long time reader, but now I have finally posted my own writing on ff. :)  
**


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